-a gentleman is slow to judge others -say congratulations to groom, say best wishes to bride -a gentleman dies not raise his voice -a gentleman never says sorry unless he has given offense -don't fluff around w "I don't mean to embarrass you but..." -don't ask someone's age -if you call someone it is up to you to finish convo -don't answer phone at table or in front of guests you are entertaining -to decline an invitation already accepted: tell them asap, frank reason, apology -accept the first invitation offered, don't weigh up offers. -if there is an obvious change in a person like plastic surgery or weight loss, be general "hello Bob, you're looking great.". -if its the opposite and they look worse say "hello Bob, its great to see you." Do not mention the deformity, weight gain or ugliness -if friend is terminally I'll: "hi Bob, how are you doing?" Then "hey let's keep on touch, I want to hear how things are going" -And if friend is fired "I've heard you've left the bank. -when a friend is promoted: "congratulations Bob, I'm here to help out with whatever you need" -"I wish I had time to continue our conversation but (excuse). "Would you like a breath mint?" -a friend confides in you a secret or something private and complicated "thank you for telling me this. If I can help in any way please let me know" -"thanks for asking but Bob and I hardly know each other at all." -don't say anything if late, but apologize later -quit job "I know that had to be a tough decision, but I know you had to do what was right for you." -inappropriate jokes "guys, jokes like that are not funny. Maybe we can do something together some other time." -when someone trying to set you up "can you tell me a little bit about her, maybe some of her interests?" -rejecting girls' advances "I think you are a very nice person but I'm not interested in our having a romantic relationship." -its bad manners to eat from someone else's plate, say "I'd you'd like to sample my food, we'll get the waiter to bring another plate." -"I want us to be married and I hope you feel the same way too." -"sorry I want us to be able to have this conversation but I'm finding it hard to understand you." -don't ever ask someone how old specifically they are -the answer is no to does this look good on me "you always look great in whatever you were but I have to say, the other one is still my favorite." -forgot name "its great seeing you but I can't for the life of me remember your name." -someone's business idea " best of luck, Bob. You have an ambitious plan and it should be an adventure." -a toast: keep it simple - "I'm proud to call you a friend" some fond memories are good, maybe a joke, but do not embarrass him. I hope you didn't cut yourself" -try not to open gifts in front of others but if get a shitty present "thanks so much I've never seen a mug like this before" -"Bob you've had plenty to drink and I'm concerned about your safety. I'll try to be quick." -when someone tries to bring an uninvited guest "I'd love for you to bring Bob, but I'm afraid we only have room for 8 at the table." -change convo topics "this might not be exactly on the subject, but your comment reminds me of something I read the other day" -intros - older to younger, if same age, girl to guy e.g. Bob, this is Barbara Samson." Can add a little quip to promote conversation "Bob is a friend of mine that I met in Canada." "Its awfully nice to meet you, bob" -starting conversation - noncontroversial topics first "it's great to be able to meet together like this. -ending a convo on telephone "it's been good talking to you, Bob. I hope we get to talk again soon." -someone is rude, don't insult them but tell them frankly what you want them to do or not do "no thanks. Good night." -"i don't give out that kind of information" -unwelcome guest arrives "thanks for dropping by Bob, but this is a bad time for me. -baby news/photo "gee Bob, you must be so proud." -if a fat girl asks if she is fat "you're a great looking woman. You'll make a great mother" -canceling - I'm sorry Bob but I can't make (event). I've already got a commitment that night." -talking in movies "excuse me, I'm having trouble hearing the movie." Then ask manager then ask for refund -if you happen to be in a heated argument (don't argue over small stuff), and realize later you were wrong, admit your mistake to them personally.
John Bridges is the author of the bestselling book, HOW TO BE A GENTLEMAN, today's most popular guide to etiquette for the modern man. John is also the co-author, along with Bryan Curtis, of eight other books in the "Gentlemanners" series, a publishing phenomenon that has now sold more than 1.25 million volumes, world-wide.